Last Tango in Georgia

"It’s o.k.  to be ambitious. If you dream of moving up in the world and being someone special, now is the time to make it happen.  Don’t be afraid to approach people in positions of authority - they can help you."

We are told "not to speak to the talent, unless they speak to you first." I usually abide by the rules. But it was the fifteenth hour of a sixteen hour film session, and this gentleman caught my eye. He'd just finished on the dance floor, and was walking next to me off set. Little did I know he was a relatively famous British actor, who'd been voted one of "The Ten Most Beautiful People in the World." 

When I engaged him in small talk and told him I loved his character, he seemed genuinely pleased. I don't expect I'll be given a recurring role on Single Ladies, but I can dream.

 

The Tree of Trees

"The generous side of your nature will be in evidence over the next seven days, especially when dealing with people who are feeling a bit depressed. You will say of do just the right thing to cheer them up."

Yesterday I took my Christmas tree down. I miss the tree. Even though it was completely dried out, I loved it. It was one of the most interesting Leyland cypresses we've had in the past twenty years. A foot from the base it split into four delicate and separate trunks, and it was lovely.

I miss it. So this morning after I read my horoscope, I got up, looked at myself in the mirror, and vowed "You will never cut another living tree." 

I handed myself $20.00 to put towards the live Leyland I'm going to buy and put in it's place. True, they can grow to be 50 feet tall in 15 years. The living room may get a bit cramped. But I'll keep my promise. Problem solved, spirits lifted.

Single Lady

" Look and act confident wherever you go and whatever you do. If your rivals detect you are anxious they will find ways to play on your fears.  Keep telling yourself you have what it takes to succeed. It’s true."

In my job I get to play many roles that come naturally. My favorites are cop, detective, and zombie.  But tonight I have to play a part that has me terrified. I have to be a ballgown wearing member of the wedding. And not just any wedding. A very fancy wedding for the very, very rich.

My instructions are: "think old money when choosing your materials. You and your friends are VERY WEALTHY. Tonight is your night to pull out your favorite dress."

This would all be very fine if I hadn't spent the last 40 years scrupulously avoiding womens' clothing. Until this call, I didn't own a single dress, much less a gown.

Those Single Ladies may be the Atlanta's answer to Sex in the City, but they won't bother me. I got thrift store to go and plenty bling to bring to the table.

Scam Me Up, Scotty

"Back off a bit and let things develop at their own pace. Some situations develop so fast there is really no point in trying to direct events. The best you can do is to watch what happens and react appropriately."

 About a week ago I listed my extremely expensive German bathroom fixtures on New York City's Craigslist. I've had quite a number of responses. Most of them go something like this: Now mind you, this guy is prepared to buy over $4,000 worth of bathroom fixtures, and he hasn't asked a single question about them. 

"...as soon as i make the payment for it, you will be sent a notification for the payment receipt in this your email ....that is if you use this your email address to set up the paypal account and i have a mover that will come over for the pick up and the pick up representatives only comes up when we have finish the deal so don't worry i will be the one to take care of the pick up expenses ok. i look to read from you soon."
 

My first response went something like this:

"Dear Mr. James:  If you are a legitimate buyer, please call me at (706) 319-1935 to discuss this sale. I have a Paypal account. Use my same email to make a payment. After it has cleared, I will ship you the merchandise at my expense.  This "my movers will pick it up" business is a sure sign of a scam. All scammers use the same line.  If you are legitimate, I'll expect a call and we'll go from there. 

P.S."I look forward to read from you soon?"  What exactly does that mean?? I hope to steal from you soon?"

He was not at all discouraged.  This morning he sent me the same email, with a few variations. I decided to react appropriately!

"Dear Sir: Good! I am eager sell you these things!  Please send Paypal payment of $4,300 to cba@netcommander.com.  Once it clear, we can make arrangements to you pick it up. Since I, too, am worried as are so scams, I will have my lawyer present to witness the shipping company's when pick up. And a police officer from my town, as well.  Thanks! I look forward to receive your payment today. Please pay at once as many other people are want to buy this thing.  Catherine"

 

Wear Your Kitty

"You should be aiming in some way to improve yourself today. You don’t have to make fame and fortune your only aim, but you do deserve to be in the spotlight more. Today’s new moon can make it happen."

I promise. After today, no more cat pictures. But I thought perhaps I could coat-tail on the success of Wear Your Music.

   

The Donald Trump of Tree

"Monday’s new moon falls in the important midheaven area of your chart. Matters to do with your career must take priority. Right now you should be making plans… and the bigger they are, the better."

I am. Ask my best friends. Soon I'm going to load the cats in the car and set out to make connections and seek my fortune.

  

But today, just for today, some of us are cornering the market on Z's. 

 

Damn Straight!

"Now that the Sun is crossing the career angle of your chart, you must not allow yourself to get upset about things that require a practical rather than an emotional response. Your future success could depend on it."

I left the loft early this morning to take a dear friend to the doctor. I arrived home hours later to find that one of my cars had a flat tire, one of my ebay customers is not happy with her purchase and wants her money back, and I may have to move all my stored things out of the empty loft next to me. 

I want this day to end. I can't stand another thing. Whoops... I meant to say: I can do it! I can deal with everything! I'll get the tire fixed. I'll give the lady her money back. I'll move all my stuff. But first...pass the hemlock. Please.

Glory Days

"Start making new career plans today. While your rivals are taking it easy and basking in past glories, you should be preparing the ground for ever greater success. Get ahead and make sure you stay ahead."

Just like Max Bialystock, my motto is "We Can Do It."
I'm going to get in the car with the three cats, and drive up to Blacksburg, Virginia with my Elvis script.
Then I'm going to Connecticut to see my father's art agent Cynthia.  But first, a cup of coffee. 

No cups? A problem for my rivals, perhaps, but not for me!  

Thank You, Muddy

"You can sense that something unusual is going to happen and that it’s only a matter of time before your talents are rewarded.  What occurs over the next few days is an opportunity, one you must grasp with both hands."

One of my mother's family crests comes with the following motto, in French mind you, not Latin: "Je Suis Pret."  So, if you take genetics into consideration, I am prepared. Don't I look it?

As Muddy Waters sang: " Well, I'm ready's anybody can be." Surprise me, O Ye Heavenly Bodies.

 

Buy It Now. Or Else!

"You don’t have to change what you are doing. You don’t have to turn your world on its head. You just need to keep on the path you are traveling and in matter of days you’ll get the breakthrough you crave."

I decided see if a more theatrical approach would work to step up my sales on Ebay. Little Bit co-operated nicely. This is my ad for one of my items. The original lead in was "Buy My Dooney and Bourke Purse. Buy it NOW! MEOW!"

So far, no bites. 

 

The Ties that Bind

"With the Sun and Pluto moving through one of the best areas of your chart, you should be out in the world making things happen. This is a great time to start new projects, and a great time to travel as well."

I admit it. I want to get in the car and drive to Alaska and get a job crewing on a boat again.

I want to drive to Arizona and attend my Christian Science practitioner's church in Flagstaff.

I want to drive to Missouri and buy a gas station.

I want to visit my best friends in New England and see the Berkshires in the snow. 

But, like The Boss says:

You packed your bags and all alone you wanna ride

You don't want nothing, don't want no one by your side

You're walking tough baby but you're walking blind

To the ties that bind.

You can't forsake the ties that bind.

That's o.k. I'll just go out in the woods again, and start looking for the Confederate gold. It's easier.

Just Say "No".

" People you live and work with will have you running in all directions today. Show willing, but don’t let it go to the stage where you don’t have a moment left for yourself.  Know when to say “No”."

The "one or two nasty shocks" I received Monday, as predicted, were minor. I thought the two Otterboxes I ordered from Amazon for my IPhone were fake. But they're not. The 27 Vintage Jumping Lobsters, Crabs and Spiders, however, were largely a bust. Bad plastic.

Still, some of the people I live with seemed to like them. They were diverted. If only for a moment. 

Look Elsewhere, Angel

"You can and you will do as you please this week, but don’t do things just to annoy other people. And don’t focus on trivial issues when there are so many big things that need to be dealt with."

My daughter flew back to college yesterday. Her blog entry chronicling the event is titled "Home Again". Seems her dorm room the U. of Minnesota is now home.

 I guess I won't get upset. After 20 years, I'm home. Whether she realizes it or not.

 

A Moveable Beast

 "Monday’s full moon could bring one or two nasty shocks your way, but if you stand back and look at them from a higher perspective you will realize they are probably for the best. Not all change is bad."

O.K. I don't like the sound of this at all. So I scouted around for a better prediction under another sign. But they were all pretty grim. 

I think I'll do one of two things: See what Michael Lutin has to say, and hope it's better. Or, in keeping with the year, leap over Monday and pretend it's Tuesday.

Maybe with the help of one of my recently acquired 27 Vintage Leaping Novelties from the 1970's.

In my enthusiasm to acquire these for the cats, I failed to consider the condition of the 40 year old plastic.Then again, maybe only two of the 27 will be shot. 

I'll be disappointed, but I'll look at the disappointment in the Light of the Big Picture. As Advised.

 

That's Cate Moss, not Kate Moss

"If you go it alone today, you will do okay, but if you work closely with others you will succeed to a degree that surprises you. The best kind of work is teamwork, so join forces with like-minded people."

This morning I resolved to get my daughter to model my leather jacket and Burberry coat for my ebay listings. She did a smash-up job posing with the Bruce Makowsky hobo.

And, with only two more days until she leaves for college, I'll ask her to teach me how to use my I phone. 

But first, a valium.

 

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

"You will splash out on something shiny that catches your eye today, but you may regret it tomorrow when you realize how much it actually cost. Your partner may be angry too (so don’t mention it.)"

I've had my eye on this gilded octopus for about five years. Or rather, I saw it first five years ago, fell in love with it, and did not have the money to buy it. Then the dealer who was selling it closed up shop.

Imagine my surprise when I found out today she was once again open for business, and it was still available.

Good thing she, and it, are on the other side of the Atlantic.

Mea Culpa

My horoscope this morning said the planets were aligned to guarantee my success in the coming year. It said my only problem was I doubt myself.

I thought: Maybe EVERYONE has been given a positive slant on their stars today. The Post, wishing us well, even if it's not foretold. But no, other sign's outlooks were not as propitious as mine. But somehow, some seemed much more appropriate. To the given day, at least.

Virgo: "If you get a chance to solve a domestic dispute this week don’t let it pass. Chances are all it needs is a kind word from you and everyone will be friends again."

 All I wanted to do was put her clothes away. Sigh. Oh Great Universe: Is there something really wrong with me?